Wash the okra, pat dry with a clean kitchen napkin. Make sure it is really dry. Cut the crown and tip. Cut okra into 2-inch pieces ( or as desired). I prefer to keep them long.
Heat 1 tablespoon oil in a non-stick pan, sauté okra on medium heat until it turns tender and the color changes to dark green, about 8-10 minutes.
In a heavy bottomed kadai, heat the remaining oil, splutter mustard seeds, then add in cumin seeds, once it crackles, add the methi seeds.
When the methi seeds change color, add the dried red chillies, asafoetida and curry leaves.
Next, add in the chopped onions, sauté until it turns golden brown.
Add in ginger garlic paste, sauté for another 30 seconds, until fragrant.
Add besan, sauté for 2-3 minutes on medium-low heat, until the rawness of besan goes away.
Add in the spices - red chilli, Kashmiri chilli powder, cumin, coriander powder, turmeric powder and kasoori methi. Sauté on low heat for another few seconds until the rawness of spices is gone. Do not burn the spices. Sprinkle some water, if it sticks to the pan, and the
Lower the heat, add whisked yogurt, mix on low heat, stir continuously for 1-2 minutes. Cover and let it cook on low heat for 5 minutes. You will know the masala is cooked when you see oil floating on top.
Add some water now if you want a gravy consistency, bring to a boil. I added 3/4 cup water as I like a gravy consistency. The gravy thickens as it cools down, so adjust the consistency accordingly.
Add in the fried okra, sprinkle garam masala, salt to taste mix well. Taste for seasonings, adjust salt if required. Cover and let it simmer for another 2-3 minutes on low heat. Switch off the heat and garnish with cilantro. Serve with rice/phulkas or any other flatbread.